How do you prepare for this?

How do you prepare yourself for this?
For this kind of loss, this kind of grief?
You've known for months, quite a few months
that this could be the way things would play out.
Yet how can you possibly prepare for this?

Mourning a boy is not the same as mourning a man.
The face, the smooth skinned face of a boy.
The freckled, and not yet stubbly face of just a boy.

Baseball, swimming, surrounded by teammates.
Running, goofing, clowning for the camera.
Wheelchair, tired, pale, so thin.
Smiling with Jeter
Loving the Yankees
Losing the fight
Losing the grip.

And he's gone.

And as a mother, how do you do this hard thing?
As a father, how do you stand there?
Brothers, sisters, Gammy, Pop-pop
Aunts and cousins and uncles and friends.

We must accept that which we don't understand.
We saw this tornado coming
We felt the earth begin to tremble
But we were not prepared for this.